Random tour of America in the works for Phish

April 21, 2012 by TreyAntipasta

With Phish playing close to their home base in the Northeast and Midwest for the first leg of summer tour, the second leg proves to be more daunting for fans who attempt to see every show. Starting in California, the tour quickly moves to the midwest, south, back to the midwest and finally ending in Denver on Labor Day. With gas at $4 a gallon, the logistics are nightmarish for even the most fervent fans. However, Phish has a little something up their sleeve for their next tour, slated for Spring 2013.

“We’ve seen Phish fans traveling around to see us since they rented a bus to see us in Boston that one time back in the day. But how loyal are our fans? What lengths can we push them to?,” started Trey Anastasio, salivating as the idea was finally mentioned, “we will randomly play shows all around the country. We’ll start at Great Woods then two days later be playing in Alpine Valley, followed by a trip to Orlando, then a day later play Amarillo, Texas. From there, we’ll shoot up to Minneapolis, out to Seattle, down to El Paso and finally up to Bangor, Maine. That oughta be a good random run for those fans.” Anastasio was later heard cackling like a madman in the hallway, pleased with himself, no doubt due in part to his Just for Men line of ‘Big Red’ hair coloring.

Normal Tour

“Its not like we can’t afford it right now. $60 tickets add up, but when you are selling things on Dry Goods like like a hoodie for $65, the money is clearly there. We will fly from show to show, waving to the fans as they travel from town to town. Think of it as “The Hunger Games” meets “Its a Mad Mad Mad Mad World”, but the fans wont be killing each other, just their cars and wallets in the process of following us.”

After a few shows of driving all over the country for Phish

A stop over at rarely played spots, such as┬áNorthern Michigan University’s Superior Dome and Vince Genna Stadium in Bend, Oregon will certainly allow fans frequent flyer miles to add up but the cost for a full tour, including hotel, food and drinks will push past the $10,000 mark for sure. “We envision three or four trustifarians to do the whole thing, but if they have a trust fund, they are disqualified. Only fans with normal means of income will be in the running to survive Spring Tour 2013!” said Trey with a cackle.

Phish will likely continue to play smaller rooms so as to return to that intimate feel we all missed from the early 90s. No more than 1000 tickets will be sold to most shows. Expect some last minute gigs to be announced, literally, following the supposed ‘tour closer’ with later gigs rumored to be held in Saranac Lake, NY, Great Dismal Swamp National Wildlife Refuge, NC and will be capped off with a storage shed jam on the island of Guam.

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