Phish Summer Tour 2012. The 1% Gets Richer While The 99% Suffer

By the time Phish wraps their summer 2012 tour, the 3.0 version of the band will have played no less than 80 times in the Eastern Time Zone while only performing a total of 15 shows in the Pacific Time Zone. Some additional stats for you to chew on, 36 shows will have been held in the state of New York, 11 shows in New Jersey, and 8 shows in Virginia and Massachusetts. As far as the Pacific Time Zone goes, four shows have been held at The Gorge which is a 2+ hour drive from either Seattle or Spokane 5 shows (Greek ‘09 and Tahoe ’11) were held at venues holding less than 10,000 people and one show was a headline set at a massive festival where phans had to sacrifice sets by Erykah Badu and The Shins in order to catch Phish.  That means the Pacific Time Zone has hosted a grand total of five headline shows in major metropolitan areas, and three of those (Berkeley) were next to impossible to obtain tickets for.

As if this is not disturbing enough, we live in a day and age where Phish struggles to draw on their own home turf. Many 1% members mocked Festival 8 in remote Indio, California for only drawing 45,000 without taking into consideration that it was the only Phish festival held while school was in session. With estimates forSuperball IX festival maxing out at 40,000 attendees, the east coast festival had far less fans then Festival 8 in remote Indio, CA.  Venues like Hollywood Bowl and Shoreline when graced by Phish on weeknights have sold out in less than an hour while East Coast staples such as The Corporate Amphitheatre near Boston and Various Bank Amphitheatres in New Jersey have not sold out till day of show. Yet still no love from Mike, Trey, Page and Fish. Fuck, Trey hates the west coast so much, he can’t even remember what year the band recorded Hoist out here.

Hell Phish has even ignores us for late night television appearances. With Conan now filming on the Warner Bros. Lot, Jay Leno a few blocks away at NBC and Jimmy Kimmel live in Hollywood every weeknight, the band has played it safe only appearing on Jimmy Fallon’s NYC filmed show since their reunion. We can already confirm that Phish will play Letterman again before they play Jimmy Kimmel Live because that’s just the Phish thing to do.

One other thought to chew on. Why is it that Phish will offer East Coast pussies that can’t stay up to 1am on a weeknight a window of 48 hours to enjoy a Tahoe webcast, yet won’t allow west coasters who are often at work when an East Coast webcast kicks off the same option? IT’S BECAUSE THEY HATE THE WEST COAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If re-elected I call on President Barack “Llama” Obama to go after Phish and their camp of corrupt corporate puppets and demand that the band begins to perform more often out west. It’s not fair that 1% gets 99% of the Phish action.