In an unprecedented move by Japan’s commission on Sumo Wrestling, DaveSchools was crowned Yokozuna during setbreak of Widespread Panic’s set on Saturday July 30th.
“His girth and ability to consume more sushi than even the greatest of Yokozunas in our thousand year history. A thousand blessings upon him!”
Schools recent cologne, Barbecue Sauce, debuted in Japan weeks earlier, prompting a familiar waft from the crowd and permeate the incense customary for the elevation to Yokozuna.
Takanoshi, a ‘splead-head’ from Osaka was front and center for the event. “School’s power, skill and grace on stage make him a most qualified Rikishi. We are honored as Japanese to have him among our greatest sumo wrestlers.
Schools could not be reach for comment, as he was eating a small village during setbreak.