Chicago asks Umphrey’s McGee to write song for another city, then move there

April 28, 2012 by TreyAntipasta

After the abysmal reaction from fans, media, locals, Chicagoans and most people with functioning hearing, prog-rockers Umphrey’s McGee were encouraged by Chicago organizers to write another song about any town they choose, then to move there. The offending song can be heard beloooooooooow.

“We asked Umphrey’s McGee to write a song to promote the summer in Chicago and it was less than well received. In fact, it was the worst reaction to anything produced in Chicago since Bartman,” said Jennifer Starks of the Chicago Office of Tourism. “But since we do know the band is talented, we do encourage them to continue writing, focus on another city and move there.”

Added Starks, “We’ll even help them pack!”

While the roots of Umphrey’s are in Chicago, the reaction has proved to be so viral and so negative, even the ardent fans have turned their heads in shame. “I’ve seen 85 Umphrey’s shows and this song pretty much negates every single show I’ve seen,” was the blunt assessment given by longtime fan Jack Mirowski. He added “Fuck Chicago” and stormed off.

It is not known yet where Umphrey’s will move but indications point to Oooooooooomaha, Nebraska, Tooooooooooopeka, Kansas and anywhere in the state of OooooooooHIoooooooo.

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