23 Signs You Are Listening To Too Much Phish

November 13, 2013 by RobertPalmerPlore

Face it, we all love Phish. However, we all know a few individuals who simply don’t know when to say when. In honor of them, we have compiled a list of 23 signs you are listening to too much Phish.

23. You named your Cactus Mike


22. You skipped your father’s funeral so you could ride the rail during a mediocre 2.0 era performance.

phish front row

21. You have spent hours on Google maps looking at the freeways in Los Angeles

Los Angeles Freeway

20. You have looked into adopting a wombat


19. You have spent hours watching Justin Bieber videos on YouTube in hopes that Kanter sneaks in a Vultures tease.


18. You signed up for Fantasy Football this year just so you could draft Russell Wilson

russel willson

17. You spent an entire hour with your shrink working out your anger issues over the loss of the rumor section on Andy Gadiel’s Phish Page.

Psychiatrist's couch

16. You convince yourself you have the power to officially ban people from Phish tour.

phish cop final

15. You cut off any car with a Phish sticker that you see in order to show off your stickers and that nifty Slave To The Traffic Light license plate frame
phish sticker
(Editor’s Note: We have never seen the above vehicle cut anyone off. We just think it’s a really cool picture)

14. You hold art conventions at crappy hotels in Atlantic City

phan art

13. You went to a Dick’s Sporting Goods store and bought a soccer ball. You never used it, instead it sits in the back of your trunk next to your jumper cables.


12. You go above and beyond the call of duty when taking care of your shoes

take care of your shoes

11. You skip important phone calls knowing that if you pause the LivePhish app, you will never make it through that Rock & Roll

live phish fail

10. You have started change.org petitions urging Subway to create a special French Toast Monte Cristo $5 footlong in honor of Page McConnell


(Note: You can sign our actual petition for this cause here.)

9. You weren’t disappointed with the Halloween cover set or thought it would be uncool to say you were.


8. You’ve slept with someone you met via twitter / “Twibe.”


7. You enjoy anonymously making fun of Antelope Greg

antelope greg final

6. You have a playlist called “HeyScottyB’s favorite Harry Hoods of All-Time to be Learned and Memorized.”

harry hood scotty b

5. You’ve met Trey. On purpose. Like you followed him.


4. Siri knows the difference between Phish and Fish

siri phish

3. You enjoy telling fans of the The Hangover that Todd Phillips also directed a Phish documentary.

todd phillips

2. You capitalize the word “Lot.”

phish lot

1. You only listen to Phish

listen to phish


  1. David says:

    Um, none of those signs are true for me personally. However, I’m pretty sure I listen to way too much Phish. Not that there’s a problem with that…

  2. JC says:

    #17 is spot on

  3. Christy Articola says:

    Awwww too bad. I was gonna share this on surrender’s fb page until you made fun of Greg. The rest is pretty spot on but its never cool to make fun of other fans.

    • RobertPalmerPlore says:

      Technically, we made fun of ourselves. We also made fun of Phan Art, which I guess you take no offense to.

      • Christy Articola says:

        Teasing someone for throwing a community event in a crappy venue is a little different than talking about someone getting ass raped in jail. Sometimes you are pretty funny and this list is one of your best-evers, honestly, but shit like that just sets you back in the eyes of so many…

    • Rob says:

      It’s normally not cool to make fun of other fans, but it’s always cool to make fun of Antelope Greg.

  4. bennyboy says:

    Ha ha ha. Love the Antelope Greg one…..I know so many people that this fits it is not phunny.

  5. How the FUCK did i not make it onto this list?

  6. SetListTees says:

    #24 – You start a whole clothing line based on the premise of tracking and documenting shows that you’ve been to…

  7. Sharkspeer says:

    Hilarious! And I’m not ashamed that I fit a few of these! If loving Phish is wrong, I don’t want to be right. Thanks for the laughs!

  8. #24, No sense of humor about PHiSH jokes.

  9. @jackl says:

    #5 (stickers and license plate frame)

    LOL, that was my wife Kat’s Villager van. I still have the plates, “DVD SKY”.

    BTW, that van died after being towed by a tractor a quarter mile through a parking lot with thigh deep mud at Coventry and a week later the tranny seizing up. There’s a moral to that fable somewhere. (The van also took us to Big Cypress and many other shows during the 1.0 and 2.0 years).

  10. heidiwho says:

    Nice pix of Kat’s van! You should have something about “You worship ZZYZX for giving us cool stats”.


  11. Terri says:

    LMFAO! So, I guess checking more than half of these would constitute as a problem? I was told I may have an issue a few days ago by a friend, but I laughed him off. Wrong?????

  12. Andy Stewart says:

    #24: You started your own Phish facebook group.

  13. ElizaPhish Joann Constance Yates says:

    admitting I have a problem is the first step..right? lmfao

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