In an effort to improve the experience for festival-goers throughout the country, music festivals have banded together to protest the use of ‘rage sticks’ at all major music festivals this summer.
No
Starting with Summer Camp and ending at moe.down, rage sticks, or ‘fuck you poles’, will be banned and confiscated upon initial searches of cars once festival-goers enter the festival grounds. “We aren’t just looking for rage sticks, we’re looking for components of rage sticks – duct tape and poles in particular. If you have either, don’t expect to bring them into the campgrounds or to the stages,” said Mike Redman, security chief at Summer Camp. “We’re not allowing anything in that can be made into a rage stick.”
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people?
While the task may be daunting, the need is clear: rage sticks have to go. For far too long, they have been an eyesore, blocking the view of fans, while their creator/owners tilt their necks skyward, marveling at their awesome asshole-ishness.
Umphrey’s McGee lighting director Jeff Waful shared his thoughts on rage sticks, saying “Yeah, it’s great to work on a lighting scheme for ‘Booth Love’ for a few hours, then end up not being able to see it because a handful of douchenozzles decided it was time to show off their arts and crafts project. I love my job, but rage sticks make me wish I was running lighting for a TV station.” Pausing for a moment, Waful then said, “I mean, hypothetically, it would have to be a really awesome TV show, but I’m sure some asshat would ruin that with a rage stick there too.”
Seriously, look at the shit Waful has to put up with:
The proposed list of banned items at ALL major music festivals include:
Poles
Duct tape
Balloons
Stuffed animals
Signs
Flags
Glowing shit
Pool noodles
Anything Ray John
and George Clooney
Have fun setting up your tents this summer!