Nitrous Salesman Corners Coveted Children’s Market with Nitrous Balloon Animals

July 5, 2011 by TreyAntipasta

With the adult and 20-something markets cornered, entrepreneurial Nitrous salesman Vic Hayes came up with a way to attract a new market for his gas: Balloon animals for the kids.

“Well,” stated Hayes, “The kidz already liked them, what about the kids? There was potential to get kids twisted too, while getting some twisted balloons at the same time! This shit is like so dank of an idea. I’ll twist the fuck out of some balloons for kids! I’ll be like a lot-style clown, but not like a real clown, you feel me yo?”

Artists depiction of potential lot scene

All kids should note that they have to pay 1 for 5, 4 for 20 like everyone else, with no fucking deals just like the rest. Hayes added, “If they spend all their allowance on gas, its no skin off my bones, this shit is delicious.” No word on when his balloon twisting skills would be perfected in time for a festival this summer, but with an eye on the late summer, Nitrous Fest 2011 would be a likely spot for this debut performance.


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