Mickey Hart Arrested – Wild Speculation Ensues

September 13, 2012 by TreyAntipasta

Upon news that Grateful Dead drummer Mickey Hart has a warrant out for his arrest for the potential assault of a Kentuckian, The Phunion began wildly speculating what could have happened. Our favorite theories:

– Mickey got pissed off that Dave Schools ate the entire craft services table, again. He took it out on a PA.

– Someone insulted Tyler Curtis, Mickey’s biggest fan, and Mickey got pissed.

– The guy who got beat up told Mickey that Ringo Starr was a better drummer than him.

– Having played Space hundreds of times finally got to Mickey’s head and he thought he was beating up an alien from Space.

–¬†Mickey Hart punched a heckler in the crowd who was yelling “Mickey Harts Planet Bum”¬† and “Real Drummers Don’t Wear Glasses.” The heckler was late discovered to be Bill Kreutzmann.

In an official statement, Mickey said he didn’t expect to be the victim or the crime. So if this drumming thing ever falls through, you have a spot waiting for you as a staff writer at The Phunion.

Mickey with his suspected weapons cache


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