While many Phish fans across the nation rejoiced as the Supreme Court approved same-sex marraige today, a wide majority of the male fans admitted that they were proud to be Gay for Trey. “I am Gay for Trey and proud to say it. Now I can legally marry my man Trey Anastasio!” proclaimed George McNeece of Augusta, Maine.
While Anastasio could not be reached for comment, the recent spike in traffic at Brianandrobert.com revealed a number of male Phish fans expressing love for a heterosexual, happily married man. One post from Treylover69 stated “This is the moment I’ve been waiting for. I know he’ll love me. I’ve dreamt of him singing Let me Lie when I fall asleep in his hairy ginger arms.” When reached for comment on Trey’s heterosexuality, Treylover69 said “Well then why does he always look at me during shows huh? He’s always looking at me. You just don’t want me to be happy, do you?!”
There was a report this afternoon from Sue Anastasio on negative concerns she had of her spouse of 20 years who now had hundreds of pending marriage proposals. “While I’m not thrilled with the fan mail we’ve been getting, I have to admit, he made his bed, he’s gonna lie in it. Those guys could have been kept at bay with a simple flash of the wedding ring, but no, he sings that stupid ‘Dudes in the front row’ song during Bittersweet Motel and he’s surprised that these guys are in love with him? Well, he could have prevented this, but we’re getting a lot of flowers sent to the house and flowers are always nice.”