Facing growing skepticism from the Lizards, Evil King Wilson is being pressured to produce his long-form birth certificate, to prove that he was born in Gamehendge and not in Freedonia, as a majority of Lizards now believe.
Amid growing concerns that Wilson is indeed unfit to be the Duke of Lizards, a recent poll showed that 53% of Lizards believed Wilson to have been born in nearby Narnia. The AC/DC Bag, assistant and executioner for Wilson said in a statement, “We have been over this. When King Wilson took over as leader of Gamehendge, he posted his short form birth certificate for all to see on the rhombus. He was born here in Gamehendge, grew up on the south side of Prussia and spent two years traveling foreign lands – Atlantis, Xanadu, Shangri-La and Moldavia, where he spent time with his cousin Vigo the Carpathian. To continue questioning his place of birth distracts us from that which we must focus on – the continued enslavement of the lizards.”
The Lizards were none too pleased. One member of a growing faction of lizards, The Tela Party, suggested that Wilson would face an uphill battle, literally, from an army led by Tela Party favorite Colonel Forbin. “With an army of lizards, King Wilson would be forced to reveal his long form birth certificate or face rebellion,” said a lizard who would only say his name was RTB, due to the steps Wilson has taken to quell anti-Wilson press.
Whether or not Wilson will produce his long-form birth certificate remains to be seen. For now, the lizards are continuing to do things smart people don’t do, such as trivialize where a dictator was born.