Brownie fires entire crowd at Biscuits show

January 11, 2012 by TreyAntipasta

Irritated and upset with the crowd’s performance at last night’s Disco Biscuits show, Bassist Marc Brownstein stopped in the middle of Svenghali and announced that the entire crowd was fired.

“I just couldn’t take it anymore. The crowd just was not getting down, I didn’t see them getting into these thick bombs I was dropping and far too many were focused on their cell phones. I expect more from a crowd. So I did what I had to do”

The crowd, while stunned, complied and left the show, which was only two songs into the second set at 2:30 in the morning. “Brownie’s right, we could have done better. No, we should have done better. I’m sorry I let him down,” shared Molly B. Untzington of Floral Park, NY. “I brought my A-game but I have no one to blame but myself. Did you hear that fucking Minions? Shit dude, how was I not dancing with the intensity of a bomb going off?”

Others were not as thrilled and complained at the mass firing but they were reassured when reminded there was a post-post show featuring Orchard Lounge starting at 4am at the Highline Ballroom.

A new crowd was gathered out in front and informed that they were expected to “dance their fucking faces off,” according to a bystander who witnessed the transfer of crowds in and out of the venue. The switch of audience took less than 30 minutes due to the adept crowd-control exhibited by Allen Aucoin who had stepped outside to cool down after sweating for the last two hours and helped speed the transition.

The new crowd consisted of a few dozen Bisco fans who did not have tickets to the original show, dozens of tourists including a Japanese tour group led by Hal Masa, a few Times Square hookers, some homeless folks and a few hundred Occupy Wall Street Protestors who went on to chant “This is what a Bisco crowd looks like” upon entering the building.

The crowd was treated to a House Dog Party Favor->Space Bird Mating Call, although Shem Rah Boo was left unfinished.

Said Brownstein, “This is more like it. I love this crowd! Onto Chicago!”


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