Face it, we all love Phish. However, we all know a few individuals who simply don’t know when to say when. In honor of them, we have compiled a list of 23 signs you are listening to too much Phish.
23. You named your Cactus Mike
22. You skipped your father’s funeral so you could ride the rail during a mediocre 2.0 era performance.
21. You have spent hours on Google maps looking at the freeways in Los Angeles
20. You have looked into adopting a wombat
19. You have spent hours watching Justin Bieber videos on YouTube in hopes that Kanter sneaks in a Vultures tease.
18. You signed up for Fantasy Football this year just so you could draft Russell Wilson
17. You spent an entire hour with your shrink working out your anger issues over the loss of the rumor section on Andy Gadiel’s Phish Page.
16. You convince yourself you have the power to officially ban people from Phish tour.
15. You cut off any car with a Phish sticker that you see in order to show off your stickers and that nifty Slave To The Traffic Light license plate frame
(Editor’s Note: We have never seen the above vehicle cut anyone off. We just think it’s a really cool picture)
14. You hold art conventions at crappy hotels in Atlantic City
13. You went to a Dick’s Sporting Goods store and bought a soccer ball. You never used it, instead it sits in the back of your trunk next to your jumper cables.
12. You go above and beyond the call of duty when taking care of your shoes
11. You skip important phone calls knowing that if you pause the LivePhish app, you will never make it through that Rock & Roll
10. You have started change.org petitions urging Subway to create a special French Toast Monte Cristo $5 footlong in honor of Page McConnell
(Note: You can sign our actual petition for this cause here.)
9. You weren’t disappointed with the Halloween cover set or thought it would be uncool to say you were.
8. You’ve slept with someone you met via twitter / “Twibe.”
7. You enjoy anonymously making fun of Antelope Greg
6. You have a playlist called “HeyScottyB’s favorite Harry Hoods of All-Time to be Learned and Memorized.”
5. You’ve met Trey. On purpose. Like you followed him.
4. Siri knows the difference between Phish and Fish
3. You enjoy telling fans of the The Hangover that Todd Phillips also directed a Phish documentary.
2. You capitalize the word “Lot.”
1. You only listen to Phish