Back in 2012, The Phunion endorsed Barack Obama for President of the United States, for, among other reasons, Phish plays better under Democratic Presidents. Given the current direction of America, our need to keep focused on a future that provides for all, and one that regulates those industries in need of regulation, The Phunion is proud to endorse Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders (I) for President of the United States of America.
Senator Sanders brings a flagon of experience with him to the presidency with a resume that shows the ability to bring people together and truly be a fan of the people.
- Sanders was Mayor of Burlington when Phish started at UVM.
- He hosted an open mic night at Nectar’s for a brief period in the 1980’s.
- He will fly in the middle seat on airplanes and will ride bitch if needed
- He is always good to drive after a show.
- He has his own Ben and Jerry’s flavor.
- He marched with Dr. King.
- He waited in traffic for Coventry, refusing the special access afforded the lone Congressman from the state. He remained in the Northeast Kingdom for days after the final notes were played, towing cars out of the mud with a tractor and surveying the damage with Howard Dean, who Sanders introduced to Phish in the late 80s but never really got IT and only went to a couple shows a year.
- He has talked brahs down from bad trips since Amy’s Farm.
- Shakedown Street will not face regulation and continue to be looked upon as the fertile ground for small businesses that Senator Sanders has seen since he was on Dead tour in the mid-1970s.
- Riviera Maya will be open to more fans and made more affordable by breaking up CID.
- An Inaugural Ball performance of Phish would be guaranteed.
Sander’s opponent, Hillary Clinton, has shown no desire to #embracetheface and demonstrates no inclination to end the cancer that is Ticketmaster/StubHub, nor can she name a single song debuted in the summer of 2015. She is out of touch with the common fan and her ascension to The White House would signal a dismal turn for America and certainly rule out the possibility that Phish performs at the Inaugural Ball in January 2017. A President Sanders would make sure that Phish not only performed two sets, but that the show was open to supporters and #realfans alike.
Consider the success of Phish under Barack Obama’s second term: The Tahoe Tweezer. Fall 2013. Wingsuit Halloween. JEMP Truck Set. Summer 2014. Vegas 2014. Miami 2014. Magnaball. The Drive-in Jam. The Hourglass Set. Riviera Maya. Wrigley Field. The gains of the past few years have great potential to continue under a Sanders Presidency. We wholeheartedly endorse the Senator from Vermont.
– The Phunion Editorial Board (Trey Antipasta, Robert Palmer Plore, Page’s Mistress)