October, 2015

  1. Local Philadelphia Star Wars Geek Purchases moe. Halloween Ticket By Mistake

    October 28, 2015 by RobertPalmerPlore

    Thinking he was buying a ticket for an advance Halloween screening of Star Wars VII: The Force Awakening; local Philadelphia man Rick Sajec was in for a very rude disturbance in the force when he discovered he actually bought tickets to see upstate New York jam band moe.

    jabba-the-hutt-costume-2

    “I figured it was the city of brotherly love, and well a brother does love his sister so why wouldn’t Star Wars have a sneak peak here in Philly?” Sajec told The Phunion. The man who works as a power plant employee by day went on to share that he is making the most of the screw up.

    “Well, if it is some hippie thing, there are probably a ton of hot women looking to get all slutty in their medal bikinis like Princess Leia. I look a lot like Jabba the Hutt and love Cosplay so anything is possible.”

    When asked about how much he paid for a ticket to the sold out show, Sajec seemed rather upset.

    “Fuck man, I paid like $80 bucks off Stubhub. Totally bummed about that, but according to my buddy at the plant, these hippie kids love noz. I figure I head down early to the Fillmore and sell some balloons from my new R2D2 Nitrous tank. Sure, it may not exactly be legal, but as long as you sell to the Bobba Fett’s and Stormtroopers and avoid the Jedi’s shit should be easier than using Ewoks to trip up AT-AT’s on Endor.”

    moe. is set to perform at the Fillmore in Philadelphia on October 30th and 31st. Tickets are still available for the 30th, because it’s moe. and they rarely sell anything out. As of press time we can’t confirm if moe. guitarist As Schiner will dress as C-3PO, but he sure does have the perfect head for it.


  2. Watch The Stunning YouTube Video On Lettuce From The Upcoming Mockumentary ‘Lettuce Play’

    October 28, 2015 by RobertPalmerPlore

    There’s no denying that Lettuce is one of the freshest produce products around town. The plant continues to evolve and grow as they power on with their pursuit of putting on some of the funkiest meal time performances.

    lettuce

    Fortunately, fans will have a new means to go up close and personal with the main ingredient of salad in November 2015. LettucePlay, a totally bullshit documentary not produced by The Phunion, follows life for a head of lettuce inside of a kitchen. The 35-minute film merges footage from various angles including the knife used to chop right through the head. Filmed over a six-hour period, the footage chronicles the mechanics of using a kitchen knife and the artistry behind making a fucking salad. Viewers will get an in-depth diagnosis of the lettuce, because who doesn’t love a good salad?

    Check out the trailer for LettucePlay, which stars Olivia Saez, right here:

    Here is where you can catch Lettuce in the new few months:

    Your Garden
    Whole Foods
    Hell, you can even get funky with Lettuce at Taco Bell


  3. Video: Warren Haynes Opens For Trey Anastasio Band on ‘Conan’

    October 27, 2015 by RobertPalmerPlore

    Real Fans are very excited for November the 2nd. On that afternoon, Trey Anastasio and his gang of above average musicians will storm the Warner Bros. Lot in beautiful Burbank California. There they plan to play one of the Dad Rock songs off the Ginger Jedi’s latest waste of a vinyl press, Paper Wheels. With at least one D level website sucking Trey’s midlife crisis jams like it was James Deen’s cock, this TV performance will be the most talked about TBS appearance since Page McConnell was seen rooting the Mets in the playoffs earlier this month.

    warren1

    Always one to help out a fellow ginger looking to go solo; Anastasio hand-picked Warren Haynes to open up his highly anticipated Conan performance with a choice cut from his latest album. Sadly for Haynes, not only did Anastasio replace him in the Grateful Dead, he also allegedly put several stipulations upon the beloved southern man. Not only did Haynes have to play a week before Anastasio, he also was not allowed to dine at the Poquito Mas located across the way from Conan’s sound stage. While we can’t confirm if Haynes was forced to head off lot for lunch, we can share his performance of Is It Me Or You? down below.


  4. Phish Winter Tour 2016: Mike Said No

    October 26, 2015 by RobertPalmerPlore

    Rolling in cash from record sell outs for their Mexican vacation and return to the World’s Most Famous Karaoke Bar – Madison Square Garden; Phish drill-master Mike Gordon has announced a handful of west coast tour dates for Winter 2016.
    mike gordon creep

    Okay, so the grown ass man they call Cactus didn’t actually announce them since he’s stuck in the 1990’s updating his fucking answering machine. However several venues have tweeted that the prolific tweeter plans to make music in small clubs and theatres instead of performing in arenas with his three BFF’s from college. Then again, with both Fish and Trey crying over the fact that their idol Russell Wilson will not be playing football in January, a solo tour from Gordon saves us from having to see a member of Phish cry like a bitch up on stage once again.

    Here are the confirmed yet not actually confirmed Mike Gordon Band dates as of press time. Unlike Umphrey’s McGee, Mike Gordon probably won’t have an opening band on these dates, because he doesn’t fucking need one.

    Mike Gordon Band Winter 2016 Tour Dates:
    01/22 Emo’s, Austin Tx
    01/23 Numbers, Houston, TX
    01/24 Granada Theater, Dallas, TX
    01/26 Rialto Theatre, Tucson, AZ
    01/27 Orpheum Theater, Flagstaff, AZ
    01/29 The Fonda Theatre, Los Angeles, CA
    01/30 The Observatory North Park, San Diego, CA
    01/31 The Fillmore, San Francisco, CA
    02/02 Crystal Ballroom, Portland, OR
    02/03 Neptune Theatre, Seattle, WA
    02/05 Park City Live, Park City, UT
    02/06 Gothic Theatre, Denver, CO