January, 2015

  1. Trey to Amputate Middle Finger to Appease Deadheads

    January 22, 2015 by pages mistress

    In a quest for authenticity at the ‘Core Four’ shows this July 3-5, and to placate Deadheads who are upset with the choice of guitarist, Phish front man Trey Anastasio announced today that he will amputate the middle finger on his right hand in order to strive for more authenticity during the shows.

    TreyAsJerry

    When reached for comment, Anastasio noted that┬ávirulently angry Deadheads gave him no choice, and that if he was going to play Wolf, he was going to do so the way Jerry did – with four fingers and lots of fried food in his stomach. “Look I can’t say how much of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity this is for me, so if I have to go the extra mile for this, so be it. I’ll have the surgery soon so I can heal and practice to find Jerry’s four finger sound.” Anastasio then lamented having to deep fry his beloved Clif Bars and opt for buttermilk instead of cold green tea.

    Needless to say, Phish fans were upset, but The Phunion can confirm that the superfluous digit will be reattached in time for Phish’s Summer Tour and will not interfere with Trey’s flubbing.

     


  2. All Your Trey and the Dead Memes Belong to Us

    January 20, 2015 by TreyAntipasta

    You post them, we find them and add them. We have six months of this ahead of us. Bring your ‘A’ Game, whether that stands for Alligator or Axilla, and we’ll share them.