October, 2014

  1. Vegas Betting Lines on Phish

    October 29, 2014 by TreyAntipasta

    You’re headed to Vegas and you want a little something other than Acey Duecey, Pai-gow Poker and $5 slot machines. What’s a Phish fan to do with all that trust fund money? The Phunion has the answer – Phish Prop Bets.

    cash-stockpile-betting-bank

    Find The Phunion and make bets on the following and WIN BIG! Unless Phish plays wingsuit>Velvet Sea for an encore, then we all suffer collectively.

    PLACE YOUR BETS!!!

    555, Fuego, Wingsuit are played, Odds: 1 to 1

    A Mike’s Song over 8 minutes, Odds: 8 to 1

    A Mike;s with a second jam, Odds: 100 to 1sure_bets

    Harpua, Odds: 1000 to 1

    Icculus, Odds: 10000 to 1

    Lushington, Odds: 82914 to 1

    Antelope Greg ejected by security, Odds: 450 to 1

    i-49422c2da0d9520a6c0af1ae58f36980-gambling

    Trey nails guitar parts in Sugar Shack, Odds: 5000 to 1

    Ghost played on Halloween, Odds: 3 to 2

    Nitrous Mafia set up by the Wheel of Fortune slots, Odds: 25 to 1

    Led Zeppelin album cover, Odds: 3 to 1

    Arcade Fire album cover, Odds: 35 to 1

    Phish fans don’t complain or bitch about this Fall Tour being lackluster: 9.3 x 10^6


  2. You Will Never Believe What Covers Phish has in Store this Halloween

    October 27, 2014 by TreyAntipasta

    With Phish probably, maybe so, maybe not playing an album this Halloween show, The Phunion got together and came up with a list of random covers that Phish should play instead of some album everyone is going to bitch about anyway. Add your ideas in the comments below:

    Beck “Golden Age”, just to cause stats confusion.

    “Viva Las Vegas” with special guest vocalist Jello Biafra.

    Foo Fighters “The Pretender”, since Dave Grohl needs the money.

    The Doobie Brothers’ “Jesus is Just Alright With Me”, because they already played “Jesus Left Chicago” and this will appease The Phellowship.

    Daft Punk “Voyager”, to show that no matter what, Phish is better than Umphrey’s at everything.

    ELO “Evil Woman”, dedicated to Page’s ex-wife, Sophie.

    Trey Anastasio Band “Liquid Time”, yes, we called it a TAB song.

    Taylor Swift “Shake”, Phish’s way of bringing attention to Parkinson’s.

    Ozzy Osbourne “No More Tears”, dedicated to the Coventry Wading.

    Megan Trainor “All About That Bass”, since it’s better than ‘Contact’ ever was.

    Metallica “Master of Puppets” – is Fishman on par with Lars? Doubtful, but this will prove it either way.

    Any Billy Joel song – Piano Man can suck it


  3. The Phunion Ranked Jambands by Tiers, You Won’t Believe Where The McLovins Ended Up

    October 15, 2014 by TreyAntipasta

    The debate is over. All this talk of what tier some jambands are on is now settled. We used 3 scientific calculators, an abacus, two slide rules and a map of the stars to come up with this list. The result: a definitive list of jambands, ranked by tier

    4-tier-curved-swim-spa-step

    1st Tier
    Phish
    There is no other band in this tier for a reason.

    2nd Tier
    Grateful Dead, Widespread Panic, Bassnectar, Umphrey’s McGee
    The Dead would be higher, but they couldn’t handle their shit.

    3rd Tier
    Mike Gordon Band, Allman Brothers Band, Disco Biscuits, Gov’t Mule
    Allmans would be higher but too many cancelled shows and we cant make the Beacon shows now.

    4th Tier
    moe., Trey Anastasio Band, Dave Matthews Band, The Black Crowes, Hot Tuna, Tom Petty
    AKA, the Dad Rock tier.

    5th Tier
    Strings Cheese Incident, The Motet, EOTO, Yonder Mountain String Band, Leftover Salmon, Big Head Todd and the Monsters
    Colorado gets its own tier because Colorado is super fucking heady.

    3tiercakestand

    6th Tier
    The Big Wu, Blues Traveler, Spin Doctors, Keller Williams
    Remember this tier? Nostalgia at its finest.

    Tier 6.9
    Grace Potter

    7th Tier
    The Nocturnals

    8th Tier
    Galactic, Pat McGee Band, Conspirator, Lettuce, Soulive, Max Creek
    Respectable company if you like good music.

    9th Tier
    Dopapod, Papadosio
    These two may as well just merge together at this point.

    10th Tier
    RAQ, The New Mastersounds, Zach Deputy, Everyone Orchestra, STS9, Perpetual Groove
    We didn’t know what tier to put these in so they go here.

    Southern-Tier-LOGO11th Tier
    The Mars Volta, Clutch, Moss, Between The Buried and Me, Deafheaven, Meshugah, Mastodon
    Metal Progrock bands are the original Jamband you hippies

    12th Tier
    Turkuaz, Kung Fu, Particle
    The ‘Late night bands for when you are peaking’ tier.

    13th Tier
    Bad vibes on this tier brah.

    14th Tier
    McLovins, Digital Tape Machine, Ha Ha the Moose, Addison Grove Project, Deep Banana Blackout, Ekoostik Hookah, G Love and Special Sauce, Pork Tornado, Zero, Vida Blue
    Remember them?

    15th Tier
    Twiddle, Lawn Boys, Phix, The Jauntee, Cubensis, Chum and any other Phish cover bands/wannabes
    Stop trying to be Phish. Just stop.